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A cop was on his horse waiting to cross the street when a little girl on her new shiny bike stopped beside him. 

"Nice bike," the cop said. "Did Santa bring it to you?"

"Yep," the little girl said, "he sure did!"

The cop looked the bike over and handed the girl a $5 ticket for a safety violation and said, "Next year tell Santa to put a reflector light on the back of it."

The young girl looked up at the cop and said, "Nice horse you've got there sir. Did Santa bring it to you?"

"Yes, he sure did," chuckled the cop.

The little girl looked up at the cop and said, "Next year tell Santa the dick goes underneath the horse, not on top."

A  mother is driving her little girl to her friend's
house for a play  date.

'Mommy,' the little girl asks, 'how old are you?'

'Honey, you are not supposed to ask a lady her  age,'the mother replied.. 'It's not polite.'

'OK', the  little girl says,  
'How much do you weigh?'

'Now really,' the mother  says,
'those  are personal questions and are really none of your business.'

Undaunted, the little girl asks, 'Why did you and Daddy get a divorce?'

'That's enough questions, young  lady! Honestly!'

The exasperated mother walks away as the  two friends begin to play.

'My Mom won't tell me anything  about her,' the little girl says to her  friend.

'Well,' says the friend,  
'all you  need to do is look at her driver's license.  
It's like  a reportcard, it has everything on it.'

Later that night  the little girl says to her  mother,
'I know  how old you are. You are 42.'

The mother is surprised  and asks,
'How did  you find that out?

'I also know that you weigh 130  pounds.'

The mother is past surprised and shocked  now.

'How in Heaven's name did you find that  out?'

'And, the little girl says triumphantly,

'I know why you and daddy got a divorce.'

'Oh really?' the mother asks. 'Why?'

'Because you got an "F" in sex.'